Mad Mike's Agenda

Obviously, the first part of my agenda is to make myself known. You should link to this site (I will provide a banner ad shortly), spread the word, and discuss me in public. As with all candidates, I am For America. And The Children.

In order to acquire sufficient visibility, I may need a scandal or two (beyond those in my already tarnished past). This may involve an affair, some alcohol use, some prejudicial statements in public or other minor pecadillos to create the illusion that I am a normal and flawed human being like yourselves. I'm not, of course, and you shouldn't get comfortable with the idea, but the image is essential. Be assured that when I screw up, it will be intentionally, by design, and with the best interests of the world in mind.

Proposed Policies

Policy 1: At the first sign of an imminent natural disaster, the mayor of New Orleans will be ordered shot.

Policy 2: Conservative states will be called "blue." Those leftwing leaning stinking pinko commie mutant traitor states will be called "red," as God, Karl Marx and intellectual honesty demand.

Policy 3: I will start a worldwide attrition replacement of fossil fuel plants with nuclear power plants. Where the environment is conducive, locals will be encouraged to use solar, wind, tide and geothermal power. The waste tailings of the rare earths used in the latter will be mixed with the radioactive waste from the former, and airdropped over any nation or region that causes trouble for its neighbors. The increased mutation rate will evolve them into something more civilized, or sterilize them.

Policy 4: Any purchase of an SUV or truck will be accompanied by a 6" scratch on a randomly chosen body panel. If this bothers you, you don't need that type of vehicle.