This is my platform:

  1. I will feed all the stupid people into logchippers.
  2. I will bring back lawn darts.
  3. I will bomb entire nations of stupid people into the Stone Age.
  4. I will bring our business back from Chinese sweatshops, and put American sweatshops back to work.
  5. This will improve the job market.
  6. This will improve the economy.
  7. This will reduce traffic.
  8. This will reduce drain on our resources.
  9. This will fertilize a lot of pretty flowerbeds.
  10. I believe all these things are more important than allowing morons to get in the way of the rest of us.
  11. When I have completed this task, I will abdicate in favor of a hot-looking redhead in leather and heels.